It seems to be the 'situation' everyone faces today. Even amongst married couples.
But. It IS the reality, isn't it?
We're all busy with something, every day. And during most of our 'waking hours'.
With kids. With work. With chores. With the internet. With our mobile phones. With everything.
Scary. But true.
I came across this article about 'Making time for the one you love' on Focus on the Family Canada website.
And I'd like to share some parts of it with you today.
Hope it'll refresh your relationship with one another.
Busyness seems to be a symptom of our society. It’s almost a badge of honour. We rush from activity to activity saying, “I’m so busy.” We even feel guilty if we don’t have something to do every moment.
Perhaps it’s your job. Or maybe you’ve taken on too many volunteering responsibilities. Somewhere along the line, you took on more than you can handle.
We hear from couples who work full-time, go to school, raise kids and volunteer at charities, and then wonder why their marriages are having difficulties. So many couples aren’t making their marriages a top priority; everything else seems more important – careers, kids, hobbies and volunteer work.
Assessing your priorities
We live with the lie that we can have it all, do it all and deserve it all. Many couples are so busy they don’t take time to nurture the foundation of their family – their relationship with each other. When that marriage foundation begins to crumble, everything else comes down with it.
Here are some of the warning signs busyness is taking a toll on your marriage:
• You think you have to choose between your spouse and your kids.
• Your lives are fragmented; you spend more time running around doing things than spending quality time together.
• When you’re together you both tend to be in your own little world.
• You both find yourselves easily irritated over small annoyances.
• Disagreements and misunderstandings between the two of you increase.
• Several months pass before you realise the two of you haven't had a date or planned alone-time together.
If you see some or all of these warning signs popping up in your life – stop and take notice! Your time with your spouse is too important to the security of your marriage to neglect. It’s more important than the time you spend at work or even with your kids. Remember this – time you set aside to spend with your spouse isn’t time you don’t have.
Make your time count
Couples need to get away alone to talk, laugh and have fun together; that’s when true connection takes place. We need to learn more about each other, our past and our dreams for the future. We need to feel at ease with each other as we face new challenges together.
If you and your spouse are both working or going to school full-time it can be incredibly tough to find time to spend together. If you have the option, don’t have regrets over your family. You get only one chance with them. Perhaps putting off school for a season or cutting back on work hours will give you the time and energy you need for each other and for your family.
Sometimes having one of you quit work or cut back on hours isn’t possible because that second income is needed or that degree is one semester away; cutting back may end up causing more stress instead. In cases like this, you need to make a concerted effort to have at least a few minutes a day just for you and your spouse. This makes your marriage a priority and gives it the preventive maintenance it needs.
The reality is that there may be time for some of those other activities in other phase or season of your life – you can still go to school later, but the window of opportunity for keeping your marriage strong may not remain open indefinitely.
[Fun ATV ride along Anyer Beach, during our recent trip to Indonesia]
Things may have not always been smooth and easy between me and my husband.
We sure have disagreements and occasional quarrels. We both are busy with our many responsibilities and chores too.
But there's one thing I notice and am very thankful to God for: we both realise how important nurturing and refreshing our relationship with each other is.
Once in a while, we try and schedule movie dates (ie. when both kids are at school). We watch DVDs together when the kids are in bed. We sometimes chat till the wee hours.
We keep in touch throughout the day. We encourage each other to read books. We communicate when we have disagreements. We support each other's church ministries. We go to church seminars and classes. We pray together.
Yes, we have weaknesses. We have emotional moments. We have many differences. And we are definitely far from perfect. But I guess THOSE are the things that continually remind us to make us work on our marriage.....Blog: http://www.oureverydaythings.com
[When we look at this old mailbox in Jakarta, really ... how can we complain about Singapore Post?]If you've taken taxis in Singapore before, I'm sure you've encountered, at least once, a taxi driver who complains about the Singapore government. How it's run, how everything is expensive, how they have to 'pay and pay', etc.
Then when they know I'm from Indonesia, they'd usually say how things are so much cheaper in Indonesia, how things are great there, etc.
Somehow, the grass is always greener on the other side.
I usually share with the taxi drivers (who love to complain about Singapore), how I personally think there are no perfect countries in the world. How we can't have the best of everything.
Yes, Singapore's cost of living is more expensive, but its crime rate is low.
Well, our daily cost of living there sure is a lot cheaper, BUT, you won't feel THAT safe when out and about on public transports. And if you're in a car and the traffic light is red, it's better to NOT use your mobile phone because there IS a possibility of someone knocking on your car window, asking for YOUR mobile phone (our family had such experiences before).
Taxi drivers usually then say to me, 'Hmmm, ya hor ... Singapore's very very safe!'
['Slum homes' in Batam]
Here's something I'd like to share with you.
Before you complain about your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who longs for a child but is unable to conceive.
Before you complain about your home - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before you start pointing fingers and condemning others - Remember that not one of us is withoutsin.
Before you complain about your own life's problems - Look around and see how there're much much bigger problems out there, and that ours actually may not be as BIG as we initially think.
Everyone of us has a longing to have things better.
And I think it can be a good thing. It can push us further in making improvements on different aspects in life.
I guess it's a 'problem' when we only complain, but do nothing on our part to make things better.
Before we complain, let us remember to count our blessings first, and learn to appreciate what we already have.(I need to remember and do this every day too)Because the reality is, it's just so much easier to complain, than to give thanks to God for what we already have.
Kids have wants. And the reality is, they don’t always get them,
because perhaps what they ask for and want is harmful, unnecessary, or
is simply not good for them. There could be plenty more good reasons
why we parents can’t give what our kids ask and demand.
And upon their ‘display of displeasure’ (for not getting what they want), I’d usually say to my two little ones …
There’s always a reason why you don’t get what you want. And you may
not understand it just yet. But know this, we love you so very much,
and if it’s something good that you need, we will surely give it to
you. Even without you asking for it.
But if it’s not good for you, even if you cry your heart out, we still can’t and won’t give it to you.
And it’s because we love you. Very much.
You know, as I emphasise these values to my kids so that (through
time) they learn to believe in us and our decisions on whether they can
or can’t get something, I am so reminded of the fact that I’m totally
no different to them.
I am just like my own kids in the eyes of God, the Creator who loves
us so much, who knows what’s best for us and gives us what we need, and not necessarily what we want.
Because what we ‘want’, though seemingly necessary and needed BY US, it may not the best FOR US.
And God knows that, and HE knows what’s best to give us, and when.
a mother of two who shares the ups and downs of motherhood, parenting
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When it comes to my children’s concentration levels, I must say they’re rather different.
Anya is pretty good when it comes to doing things by herself for a
long time. Since young, she can sit alone and read books, make crafty
stuff. draw, etc.
Vai doesn’t quite share his sister’s love for reading, drawing or
making crafty stuff ALONE though. He can play alone for a very long
time when it comes to his cars and trucks (and oh, I must say he loves
cutting up paper! Give him a stack of old newspaper and scrap paper,
and he’d be at it for a long time!)
For other activities (like drawing, arts and crafts, and reading) he
can do one activity at a time for a relatively longer time IF he does
it with someone else.
Today I’d like to share with you some of the things that we can do
to help and improve our kids’ concentration level. Hope it can be an
insightful read to you all.
Source : Family Education
- Your child’s interest
Children usually stay focused longer on things that truly interest
them, so you will want to pick activities that appeal to your child to
improve his concentration.
- Board and Card Games
If you haven’t been playing board and card games with your child, start
now. Begin with games that are easy to play before moving on to those
with more complicated rules. Not only do games require concentration,
but they’re also fun.
- Read and Read
Read to your child. Start asking him questions before you read to focus
his attention on a story. Then have him let you know when you read the
answer to the question. What you are doing is helping your child become
an active listener.
- Reduce computer and TV time
Does your child play any computer games? Have him avoid those
that just require mindless responses. Also, cut his TV viewing time.
While it may appear that he is concentrating on a program, television
does not require children to focus for more than a few seconds on an
- Other activity ideas
Other activities that build concentration include: doing puzzles,
drawing pictures, making models, and helping with family chores.
My little girl has been making me laugh again!
This post is classified R(A)
As we drive the kids home from our everyday excursions, we will test them on the their sense of direction.
As Nicole is the only one who can talk at the moment, we will ask her, “Nicole, are we near our house yet?”
She will reply “Yes” or “No”
To really help her find her way, we will teach her to look for landmarks along the way.
She is supposed to look out for things like the McDonalds at the traffic junction, and recognise the colour of the nearby flats.
Reaching our rented place, I asked Nicole, “Are we home yet?”
My 3 year old replied, “Yes Daddy!”
Out of Curiosity, I asked her, “Nicole, How do you this is your house?’
“I can see my panties hanging by the window!”
To read more adventures, Go to ED Unloaded.
Recently, I was reminded how things change when you become a parent.
This is a picture of the dashboard of my Toyota Wish.
I am used to driving my car and having my favourite can of Coke Light or Red Bull in the Cup Holder. In fact, the cup holder found in the lower half of the picture, is the resting place for all my beverages.
Things have been like that since I got my 1st car…
Nicole loves to sit in front!
Whenever I pick her up from school, she is always asking to sit in front.
Being the nice father that I am :), she gets to come to the front…however there are consequences to that decision!
I have lost all controlling interest of my cup holder!
Now…My cup holder is occupied by a PINK DORA WATER BOTTLE!!!
My coke bottle has been relegated to the back seat and DORA seems to have won the day!
First: …You change your car
…now you lose the essentials :)
To all Male Drivers –BE PREPARED!!!
Read more at ED UNLOADED